The flies.....

As you read this, most likely wrapped up in something warm and bitching about the cold, you won't believe what I'm going to tell you.

It's actually happening to me and I barely believe it. So......

They have flies in Oz. No big surprise.

They are about 1/3rd the size of the ones we have at home and they are *totally* psychopathic. They fly in your face, in your ears, up your nose, in your eyes, in your hair, up the sleeves of your t-shirt, and dangerously, in your mouth if you happen to talk - or laugh.

And I'm not talking dumb-ass fly unable to work out where to go, oh no, this is a mission. This is a fly intent on making your life a misery. Honestly, one day I was sitting at the bus stop and there was this fly persistently trying to get on my face, trying to get in my ear and anywhere else it could drive me nuts. Imagine now you see me from the side of the road waving my arms up and down, trying to flick this bastard out of the way, but it just comes back and cue more waving around. Yes, that's right, I look like an imbecile having some kind of attack.

OK, so flies, evil flies. Whatever. Now can someone explain to me how exactly, there are more deadly spiders in Australia than anywhere and yet they're clearly making no effort to kill the flies. I mean come on. That's the only argument anyone has come up with for having spiders. I bet if you saw a spider/fly combo the spider would be using all it's legs to bat away the psycho fly.

It's just wrong.

Oh, and if anyone knows of some potent anti-fly thing that drives them away (aside from the silly hat) please, please, please email me!!